What About Spring?

Published Sept. 22, 2006
By Matt Cox
90th Communications Squadron

F.E. Warren -- In Wyoming, spring is in the witness protection program.
It's disguised as something else; a fifth season wearing a parka and flip-flops.
It just can't make up its mind.
If spring could talk, I think we'd commit it because of its obvious split personality.
But it makes us tough. It makes us cautious. It makes us, well, patient.
It seems like I've been waiting for summer since I was 12, and that's just this year.
The weatherman isn't much help either because for all his training and experience, predicting Wyoming weather is like guessing how many Warren antelope will egregiously ignore all proper crosswalks.
The only sure meteorological bet here is the wind: "I can be certain of one thing," said Joe Weatherman, "tie down your pets, it going to be windy in Cheyenne today."
If only the wind and spring could get together and come to a truce; atmospheric bipartisanship if you will.
Then the two could hammer out a schedule that works for everyone. A discussion I'd imagine would go as follows:
Spring: "How about I come around in the middle of March?"
Wind: "You know I don't really get going until then, right?"
Spring: "Yes, we all do, but I think we'd make it easier for everyone if we spilt shifts."
Wind: "Yeah, I'm clocking ridiculous overtime here in Wyoming. I'm sold."
And with that concession of an admitted workaholic, wind and spring come to an agreement that leaves Wyoming soaked in sunshine and as still as the Bells of Balangiga.
So what about spring?
Give us two summers instead.