Returning from deployment: Military members, families cope with difficulties Published Jan. 18, 2008 By Glenn Garcia Family Advocacy Outreach manager F. E. WARREN AFB, Wyo. -- A common expectation is that the family will be exactly the same as it was before the deployment. However, during deployments, families naturally change. Children have grown and spouses have taken on new responsibilities and may be hesitant to relinquish these responsibilities upon the members return. New friendships and family alliances may have formed. War zone exposure is a life changing experience for those deployed as well as for the family members who have made adjustments during the time the active-duty member was deployed. Everyone needs to work and get used to a new family pattern that works for all involved. Understand that problems experienced before a deployment may return. The service member should not feel forced to talk about his or her deployment experiences. They should be given opportunities to talk about the deployment and their reactions and feelings with people who will not be judgmental or negative. Family members should join in these discussions and are strongly encouraged to do so. Active-duty members may feel more comfortable talking with their buddies about their deployments. It may be helpful for the active-duty member to speak with a counselor about his or her experiences or concerns about sharing the details of deployment experiences with family members. Family and friends shouldn't take signs of withdrawal personally, and should remember to be patient. Recovery takes time. Sometimes, the every day stress of family life can feel overwhelming for the active-duty member. They may become more irritated or react more strongly to common family issues. Stress, anger and aggression are common stress reactions but these reactions may frighten spouses and children, and even the active-duty member. Continued angry outbursts or over-reacting to everyday situations, especially over a long period of time, may mean the member should get help. If you see these signs and symptoms in the active-duty member, you should share your concerns and encourage your loved one to seek help and support. Be aware that the member may be reluctant to seek help based on the unrealistic belief that it's a sign of weakness or may have a negative impact on their career. Family members may need to be firm in expressing their concern and focusing the member on the impact and potential consequences for the family if the member does not seek support. Families do not have to struggle in isolation after a deployment. There are a variety of support agencies and contacts on base that will speak and educate family members on what to expect, how to cope and who to contact when issues begin to arise. The base maintains a Web site of support services available to active-duty members and their families at http://www.php-ids.com. Click on the F.E. Warren link. For more information call the mental health clinic at 773-2998 or Master Sgt. Regina Campbell, 90th Force Support Squadron, at 773-5899. (Editors note: This part two of a three part series on coping with deployments.)