Ray Bradley's Greatest Hits

March 15, 2024



If you don’t want to read the rest of my nonsense below Women’s History Month Event at Trails End at 1500.   I hope to see you there.  Now without further ado more nonsense. 

I am so excited Col Hundley did not close the base today!  Not because I wanted to come to work but there is something WAY bigger going on today!  

I am sure you are wondering what I am talking about and as usual I am going to tell you!    

Do you know who the first Female in the Air Force was?   (No I was not Active Duty then!)

True or False:  Did women participate in the Army Air Corps before the Air Force became it’s separate service?  If you pick false you may need new employment.  

Who was the first female 1 and 2 star General in the Air Force?  

Who was the first Female Airmen Astronaut?  

What date was the first Female SECAF was named?   A hint 53 days after I entered the Air Force. 

So why do I keep asking these questions?   I am prepping myself to win the Women’s history month trivia at the club this afternoon and I don’t like to lose!  

In addition to that there will be an all-female Panel to answer questions and “discuss challenges, triumphs and advice they wish they had when they were starting out”  (90 MW Public Affairs) And do we have a great list of folks. 

First up the Chamber of Commerce VP Ms Amber Leyba!

Next a young Capt from 90 SFS doing one of the hardest jobs on the base as an Operations Officer Capt Victoria Tanner!

We have not 1 but 2! Chief on the panel.   We CMSgt Mary Trent, the FIRST female Group Superintendent of the 90 SFG and CMSgt Yvonne Fitzpatrick from our 90 MDG.  

Finally, we have an outstanding First Sergeant, MSgt Britni, (You better call me Janey) Burnette!

And as if it could not get any better there will be CUPCAKES AND COOKIES!  Man, I love Cupcakes and cookies, I may not need dinner tonight and if you see me eating my 4th cupcake and 8th cookie you just mind your business!  

Starts at 1500 today with the panel at Trails End, I hope to see you all lose to me on the women’s history trivia!  

Also, if you don’t like cupcakes/cookies don’t forget to grab one anyway a feed Director Deadpool! 

In all seriousness the Panel of leaders is amazing, and I know with these types of leaders this should be quite enjoyable and educational.  

Come out fellowship, learn something, and gain a better understanding of what folks go through.  


Thanks All!

Director Deadpool, AKA Hamburger Paws,  AKA Cupcake Ray, Cookie Monster, AKA Defender America, AKA Bat Shirt, AKA Ray



March 13, 2024



We had some pretty childish behavior from a couple of our FGOs this morning in the staff meeting.   Normally, I would not call them out like this to the entire WSA but in this case I must make an exception so the rest of the team can learn from their mistakes.  

It started out excellent.   We surprised Mr. Glenn Robertson with a well deserved Civilian Meritorious Service Medal.  Then it went downhill from there.  

Major Hight yells out “way to go Glenn and blows into a very loud and annoying whistle” like this is a rock concert or something.  

I am blushing at this point because I get embarrassed really easy.  

Next we announce that PA won 9 AFGSC command level awards listed below.   (More loud cheering and whistles from Major Hight)

SrA Landon Gunsauls was named the Communicator of the Year. 

Mr. Glenn Robertson won Civilian Graphic Designer AND Civilian Writer of the Year. 

Mr. Rob Hill won Civilian Videographer of the year AND Video Series of the year AND Long-form Production Video

SrA Sarah Post won Military Graphic Designer of the Year AND Graphic Arts of the year AND Photo Series of the year.  

At which point Major Hight goes off the rails and starts talking about how “we won 9 of 31 awards at the MAJCOM more awards than the other 3 wings in the NAF combined and nearly double the next two closest wings in the command and said the reason they call Barksdale the second bomb wing is because that’s where they finished compared to us!”   At this point Lt Col Mabis chimes in and says “you only won 29.032258% of the awards.” (oddly specific on that percentage but I checked the math and he was right)  See what I mean about their behavior? 

Next up Col Galbert says that our Legal Office won a couple of awards too.   Major Hight says “OH this is why Lt Col Mabis is being a jerkface!”

SrA Alexander Wilkes, was named the Outstanding Paralegal Airmen of the Year.

MSgt Nelly Hensley was named the Outstanding Paralegal Senior Noncommissioned Officer of the Year

The outstanding Wing Legal Office of the year was our very own 90 MW/JA. 

Additionally, part of the hard work our Legal office has done resulted in a Law protecting the rights around our Launch Facilities in the Missile Field.  They received a framed copy of this signed by the Speaker of the House, The Vice President, and the president.  It was also signed on the matting by the SECAF and General Bussiere.   (I asked if I could sign too but Lt Col Mabis was like “I don’t want your greasy hamburger paws near this” (Ouch!)

Then Major Hight says quit picking on hamburger paws (OUCH! Again) and you only won 3 awards! HA!  9 is way better than 3.  Lt Col Mabis then says however, 37.5% of the awards (also best in the command) is better than 29.032258% in fact it is 8.467742% better!  (What a NERD!)

Now it really gets out of control. 

Maj Hight says well Col Galbert likes me way better than you!

Lt Col Mabis responds with the strong uh-huh!

Major Hight says you are a jerk!

Lt Col Mabis uses the classic I am rubber you are glue whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you!  

Col Galbert jumps in and says that’s enough! Then uses the classic parent lie that “I love you both equally”  Then he tells them to both go put their noses in the corner! 

Then Col Galbert says “Hamburger paws (seriously, I am Director Deadpool!) I need to see you in my office immediately after this meeting!”   Also, Major Johnson and Capt Skinner have to come to all staff meetings instead of these two. 

I seriously cannot tell you how proud I am of the team.  I would not write this much nonsense if I was not.   I will tell you that I am worried that I will run out of nonsense to say to say (Chief Pospischil “lord I hope he does”) if we keep winning all these awards, but I would like to find out so keep them coming! 

Obviously having some fun at Lt Col Mabis’ and Major Hight’s expense but I am proud of their leadership to their teams.  12 MAJCOM awards and a law signed by the President is a pretty good day.  Thanks to the supervisors who continue to push our folks and recognize their outstanding efforts!  Please pass congratulate these folks and wish them luck as the compete at the next level!

Thanks for everything you do!

Director Deadpool (AKA Hamburger Paws)



March 4, 2024



Have you ever thought someone may want to work with Lt Col Mabis and Major Johnson?   Yeah Me neither 😊 however, if you do know someone see below for an opportunity to work with them as a legal assistant.   Please contact them with questions. 





February 27, 2024

Good morning team!

Once again Annual Awards banquet felt more like a WSA annual Awards Banquet.  Guess what organization took home the most awards?   I am not going to spoil it but it rhymes with Bing Staph Magencies.   

First up the FGO of the Year, from the 90 Missile Wing Public Affairs Office, Major Victoria, “this is our Major, there are many like but this one is our” HIGHT!  Although, I thought her Kanye moment was little bit much when she stormed the stage and started yelling about the CGO category was rigged and it should have been Capt Skinner.  While I agree that Capt Skinner should have won, that was a bit much Major Hight.  I do like her passion for her team!  

Next up we had the Volunteer of the year from our very own Wing Command Post, SrA Zania, “my son is more adorable than your son” JONES!  Afterward SrA Jones was humble as ever, and stated “I just want to be a good role model for my son and make sure my husband, who is joining the Air Force soon understands what a great Airman is supposed to behave like!”   She further stated “Mr. Bradley if you start saying What’s that Smell P. O. L to my husband every time you see him, we will have words!”   I am not sure why the hostility, I am just trying to be funny!

Next up we had the Civilian Category 2 Supervisory position Mr. Thomas “nobody know my first name and can’t pronounce my last name” (BJ) BJORKQUIST!   Not a surprise here since he is a part of the best Daggum(have to keep this G rated especially after Major Hight’s outburst) Safety office in all of the Air Force!    BJ also grabbed the Mic and tried to recreate Lt Col Bull’s speech from last year and as expected when he started rapping if “IF YA WANT WEAR SAFETY GLASSES LET ME HEAR YA SAY EYE!   THE CROWD SAYS LOOKS AT HIM IN DISBELIEF THAT THIS IS HAPPENING AGAIN?  IF YOU WANT TO WEAR SAFETY GLASSES LET HEAR YA SAY EYE EYE EYE!   CROWD SAYs BOOOOO!   Come on BJ you are better than this!  Sadly I am not as my originality is limited.  

Lastly, we have the BACK TO BACK CIVILIAN CATEGORY 1 OF THE YEAR!  Ms.  Claudia, “Whatcha goona do brothers and sisters when Claudiamania runs wild on you”, MARTINEZ!   As a back to back champion she said to the other competitors “Claudia 3:16 says I just whipped your @** and if you smell what the Claudia is cooking  you can rest in peace.”   She really went over the top when Col Galbert came up to her to congratulate her on her win and she said “It doesn’t matter what your name is!”  Whoa, I did not expect that to come from Claudia she seems so professional and humble all the time.  

Team, I am truly proud of all of you and I graded a ton of packages and we were very competitive across the board.   Thank you to all of the supervisors who put the time in to recognize all of our nominees!   The only thing true about any of this is the folks that we had recognized and that Major Hight was upset that Capt Skinner did not win.  She did refrain from a Kanye moment but I think I think that was her Air Force Academy discipline showing through.  

Again team I a proud of you and thanks for putting up with my nonsense emails.  I used to be a bit of a wrestling fan if you can’t tell.  


Director Deadpool



Dec. 21, 2024



As I was traveling to work this morning I received a Phone Call on my Secret Super Hero Phone.   I knew it must be something big because nobody every calls me on that phone.  

Below is the fake phone transcript of the call I received. 

Ring Ring

Director Deadpool:  Director Deadpool, how may I show off my cool super hero powers today?  

CMSgt Hlongwane:  DIRECTOR DEADPOOL (I can’t believe he makes me call him this) I NEED YOUR HELP! 

Director Deadpool:  Calm down Chief I am here to help. What do you need?

CMSgt Hlongwane:  I need you to come out of retirement!

Director Deadpool:  Can I get a beard waiver because I am not shaving these sweet locks!

CMSgt Hlongwane:  Not that kind of retirement you idiot! (ouch tell me how your really feel)

Director Deadpool:  Whew, I have heard the waiver process is tough!   So what do you need then? 

CMSgt Hlongwane:  You remember how you said your record against Airmen Leadership School and FTAC was 100 and 0 in volleyball? 

Director Deadpool:   Oh that, it was actually 107 and 0.

CMSgt Hlongwane:  Well the Chief’s and Shirts are playing in an Ugly Sweater volleyball tournament tonight.

Director Deadpool:  Yeah so what does that have to do with me? 

CMSgt Hlongwane:  You are not real bright are you Director Deadpool? (Again I have never seen this side of her)

Director Deadpool:  Why do you ask?

CMSgt Hlongwane:  Never mind that will you come and play in an Ugly Sweater volleyball tournament tonight with the Chiefs and Shirts?     

Director Deadpool:  You understand I have been retired from Volleyball for a few years now right?  

CMSgt Hlongwane:  Have you seen Chief Fitzpatrick play volleyball?

Director Deadpool:  No

CMSgt Hlongwane:  Let’s just say she won the MVP award for the ALS class while playing for the Chief’s and Shirts.  I need to keep her off the court!  

Director Deadpool:  Will there be Icy hot? 

CMSgt Hlongwane: Yes

Director Deadpool:  Will there be Ice? 

CMSgt Hlongwane:  Yes

Director Deadpool:  What About Bandages?

CMSgt Hlongwane:  I don’t time for this are you in our not? 

Director Deadpool:  SMELLS YEAH!


In reality, what happened was

Chief Fitzpatrick: Well if we need to fill out the team we could ask Ray. 

Chief Hlongwane: You know he is almost 50 right? 

Chief Fitzpatrick:  Yes but maybe we get lucky and returns a spike off of that big dome of his.  

Chief Hlongwane:  Will you have medics there just in case? 

Chief Fitzpatrick:  Good call, I thought he was closer to 60 to be honest. 

Chief Hlongwane:  Ok I will call him on that stupid Super Hero phone he carries around. 

Chief Hlongwane and Chief Fitzpatrick:  What a dork!!!!  


I guess I am playing volleyball tonight at 5  at the main gym if you want to come out and watch me trip over my feet.  My guess is since we are playing Airmen we will be the evil villains instead of the super heroes we are. 





April 17, 2023


What an awesome awards ceremony Friday was.   Please read in the voice of one of the Buffer brothers. 

In our first heavy weight bout for the title of AIRMEN OF THE QUARTER! FIGHTING! OUT OF THE RED CORNER!  A1C TYANA “THE LEGAL BEAGLE” MUSRASRIK-NANPEI!  HER OPPONENTS(this term is used loosely as it wasn’t much of a fight)  FIGHTING OUT OF THE BLUE (which also describes how they felt after the knockout) CORNER,    90 OG, 90 MXG, 90 MSG, 90 SFG, and 90 MDG.

After a 12 round bout with all 5 groups we go to the judge’s decision  Judge number 1 scored the contest 120-108, Judge 2 scored the fight 120-108 and Judge 3 scored the fight 120-108 YOUR WINNER BY UNANIMOUS DECISION AND NEW 90 MW AIRMEN OF THE QUARRRRTERRRR!  FROM THE 90 MW JUDGE ADVOCATE OFFICE A1C TYANA “THE LEGAL BEAGLE” MUSRASRIK-NANPEI!    


After a 12 round bout with all 5 groups we go to the judge’s decision  Judge number 1 scored the contest 113-115, Judge 2 scored the fight 115-109 and Judge 3 scored the fight 114-110.  YOUR WINNER BY SPLIT DECISION AND NEW 90 MW FIELD GRADE OFFICER OF THE QUARRRRTERRRR! FROM THE 90 MW PUBLIC AFFAIRS OFFICE MAJOR VICTORIA “THE UNNNNDERRR DAWG” HIIIIGHT!  


This contest, scheduled for 12 rounds, was stopped by referee Mills Lane 38 seconds into the first round for your winner by Knockout AND NEW 90 MW CIVILIAN CATEGORY 2 NON-SUPERVISORY CIVILIAN OF THE QUARTER!  MS AMBER “THE QUEEN OF DV VISITS” WOOOOOOOOOODS!  

Once again you folks truly amaze me with all you do.  Thanks to all the supervisors for taking the time to recognize all our folks.   Please congratulate our wing winners, who have that DAWG mentality, when you see them. 





Dec. 9, 2022


Hello team!

I am looking forward to hanging out with you all tomorrow evening.  However, If you show up with a picture of my face on your sweater thinking that you are going to win the ugly sweater contest, you probably will, but that is just mean!   

In all seriousness let's have a good time and be safe. 

My plan is to be like Buddy the Elf and stick to the four main food groups,

Candy, Candy Canes, Candy Corn and Syrup!  






Nov. 15, 2022



Well I am feeling like Winnie the Pooh right now because after looking at all the delicious food “I have a Rumbly in my Tumbly” (Winnie the Pooh, 1966)  Sadly I am worried some folks won’t get this reference and no I wasn’t born then! 

I think we are looking pretty good but if anyone is interested in another main dish or two that would be sweet!  

Thanks all! 





Nov. 14, 2022


I have an exciting announcement to make!   WE ARE HAVING A THANKSGIVING POTLUCK MEAL THIS WEEK!   I CAN’T STOP YELLING I AM SO EXCITED!  Some people have already switched over to Christmas and I am like I have like 13 more Thanksgiving meals that I need to consume.   Not your turn yet Santa!  I am like Buddy the Elf when he hears santa is coming and screams SANTA!  I KNOW HIM! except when I hear Thanksgiving my stomach screams TURKEY AND HAM, I EAT THEM!  I will be honest part of me is like it will be great to sit down and break bread with you but an even more selfish reason is I like to eat and I want to see what fantastic dishes I can gorge myself with.  

I am excited to try Deviled eggs for the first time.  Wink Wink. 

MAC and Cheese from Ms Mercedes! 

Col Barrington is making her world renowned pulled pork! 

Maj Hight is bringing Glazed Bacon Wrapped Pork Tendorlion!?!?!?!(pig wrapped in pig!  I am already asking for seconds)

We sweet potato AND Green bean casserole (I may go into a food coma just reading this list of food)

Arroz Con Gandules a traditional Puerto Rican rice dish??? Ouch! Quit twisting my arm! 

Lt Col Mabis is making his world famous “pie”  Sounds tasty!   Not sure if the world famous is just the name of the pie or if it is truly world famous. (probably going to be a let down) 


I hope you will sign up to bring a dish and come break bread with us at Trails End on Wednesday from 11-1300.  Hope to see you there because this fat kid likes to eat and fellowship.




PS. if you are curious on how to get in shape like me, this is the Body by Ray diet I use. 




After 3 years of adding the various strands of COVID to my daily 3 cups of coffee I finally created a mutation that could enter my immune system.  It is called the Deadpool variant.  With that said I was out last week and if you tried to call the office I was working from home and apologize for not answering the phone.   I am back this week so shoot me a note or give me a call to catch me up on what I missed.   Appreciate  you all and for those of you who are curious I am back to 87.3% of full capacity.